Thoughts from the Ivory Tower

Music is a way to connect to people.  There have been countless times that I have lingered in a social situation, keeping my thoughts to myself, too aloof or disregarded to join the conversation – until I had the chance to sing.  Music can be an ice-breaker for me.  When I sing I am able to loosen up, to release energy, to reach out to people, and often it opens opportunities for new friendships and interesting conversations.  Music can alter the mood in a room and bring people together.

Writing helps me to connect in other ways, although it is often one-sided.  Sometimes I will write in my journal, and I am able to connect to my inner self in new ways.  Writing to others in emails is a way to connect to friends and family.  Poetry is a way to communicate vague ideas and deep emotions.  This blog is an attempt to reach out, to communicate.  Many times I feel vulnerable when writing for others.  I am often convinced that almost no one is interested in what I have to write, and ultimately, they are not interested in me.  And often I feel ignored.  I would almost rather be criticized than ignored.  I wonder if I should shout with a louder voice.

It almost seems weak to say that I would like to connect with others in writing and song – as if I need people.  If a tree falls in the wilderness, does anyone hear it?  I have much to express, and I believe that sometimes I can express it very well. I would be thrilled to have someone to reach out in this direction, to write something thoughtful and responsive and interesting back.  I read about the lives of great men of history and literature that they have written long and deliberative letters to acquaintances, and they – shock, shock – have received similar replies.

I perceive the world in a different way than I experience it.  I expect there to be interesting and serious discourse.  But I look around and see and hear crass culture:  on television, on the radio, in public places.  Maybe I should be in an ivory tower.  There I could write my letters and sing my songs and pass my days in reflection.  But it just wouldn’t be any fun to be in the ivory tower alone.